Oh I should probably mention
There are some major reasons I should mention (other than time and the ridicule of my friends) why I’ve been trying to find a truly healthful diet and exercise regimen instead of anything that will render me thin. For one thing, I have truly horrendous bloating and gas daily, getting progressively worse at night. I mean the kind of gas that is horribly pungent too. Plus, I haven’t had my period in a few months.
This isn’t the first time that’s happened. When I was 15 and weighed 130 lbs (I’m 5’8″), I lost it for 9 months and then got it back when I started putting on weight. So that at least made sense. Then in 2008, I randomly lost it for about 7 months or so before seeing a doctor at the behest of the friends and co-workers to whom I’d spoken about it. The strange thing was that I was at a good 140-143 when I lost it, and it stayed gone as I put on a few pounds, until the doctor prescribed some female hormone pills, which brought it back. But I haven’t had it in almost 3 months again (other than 2 instances of very light spotting), and this has been since gaining a few pounds.
Back to the farting and shit. For a couple of years I’d been having horrible pains in the left side of my stomach every night. It might go away for a few days or weeks sometimes, but then it’d be back for more days or weeks at a time. I would take a huge poo in the morning, and then by the evening I would feel like I desperately needed to take a crap but couldn’t, and then gas and sometimes debilitating pain would ensue. I tried Tums, Pepto Bismal, Exlax, and Miralax, but nothing gave real relief.
I finally figured out I’d had diverticulitis this whole time, so I put myself on a liquid diet for 3 days, then started introducing fiber back in a little more each day until I was having at least 35 grams per day. That meant, inter alia, using Metamucil, or any off brand sugar free fiber powder supplement. I could see this was the most calorically economical option. Since this process, my diverticultis has remained at bay. Though it is wonderful to have that pain gone, new problems have arisen. My pooping is more sporadic than before. Sometimes I can even poop late at night, but sometimes I also don’t poop in the morning. I also almost never feel like I am pooping “everything” out. And the consistency of the dumpage has changed. Now it’s always this dark, slimy, disgusting sewage.
So I’ve started to think, am I having too much fiber now? Maybe the kind in Metamucil products isn’t as good as more “natural” stuff? I’m also trying to get away from artificial sweeteners, and I just realized there’s aspartame in the off brand Metamucil I have (regular Metmaucil probably has it too, or sucralose maybe). So I want to get off that stuff. Now that I’m adding flax seeds to several of my snacks and meals, I don’t think the Metamucil will be necessary to keep my diverticulitis subdued any longer.
And I have back problems. I’m fucking 23 years old people, jeeezus.